FM

brother

i’ve sent three packages in the last five years
two, past-due diligence on doctor’s notices
one, my bi-coastal manic mood upswept to you.

i rewrote the shipping label eight times,
the letter, only once — i’m still trying
to manage first impressions with a sibling
only three years younger, though i sometimes think
the delta surges with the drought.

i’ve come to believe that steady hands
are less about holding tight and willing stillness,
instead that they derive from flowing with every tremor
like learning how to drive a straight line,
stick shift, with every shudder of the steering wheel
against your palms the first time.

surgeons may disagree but fuck em,
all sociopaths or so i’ve been told.
your pottery may also disagree
but i promise:

i’ve loved you breathing deep and sure,
with unlimned patience, consummate deliberation
piecing back together your thumbprints
in that shattered stoneware.

i may not be so gentle but i am steady,
tracing the loops of your address over and over,
counting seconds in seven sets of sixty
with my fingers shadowing yours
willing the bond to reset.

text poetry mine families ugh

nor cal tree bath pt 1

hiking fungi mushrooms the bay bayarea san francisco state park

u know what u can tell is really fucked up as soon as u see it from above (e.g., on a flight) ? dams. they just look like clots choking arteries of the earth. i felt physically nauseated the last time i saw one, it just looked _wrong_ in a way that’s hard to even articulate

text mine ramblingalingaling