"i love spider-man, it's so kafkaesque" <-guy who thinks kafkaesque means there's a big bug
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i’m so fun. for FUCKS sake
u may catch more flies with honey than with vinegar but you catch the most flies with overt violence. get one of those slapper sticks and go hunting
“workers should want to come back to the office for the snacks”
okay techradar, counterpoint: i roasted a whole red snapper with lemongrass, garlic, chilis, and shallots for lunch today. so fuck off
in my dream a few nights ago, i was on a space station, floating far from any familiar landmark, suspended in deep night. the station looked like one of those landlines from the 90s or those delicate, jewel-like frogs that live in warmer climes - crystal clear casing, the veins and organs of the city nestled tightly within.
there was something wrong, on board - the dream didn't make it clear _what_ had happened, but there were few options for handling the situation, and fewer people on-board who wanted to be the executors of any of said options. but i volunteered. i said i would stay on board while the rest of the crew evacuated; i would wait until i was utterly alone, and then i would engage the self-decon process and go into my stasis pod. though the station's emergency decontamination procedure was the only way to save it, the process was also very destructive for organic life - however, i would be safe in my stasis chamber. i would wake up when the station could support me again, in a few months, and then i would be utterly alone: an entire space station to myself.
well, myself and one other person.
in the dream, i had a partner, and we agreed that they would slip off the evac queue and come find me. we would go into stasis together, and when we awoke we'd have our own private island suspended in the stars. enabling everyone else to escape wasn't entirely selfless, after all: it was to steal a little bit of a solitary paradise.
anyway, some other narrative shit happened and we ended up dealing with mysteries and more people instead, and dream-me felt very cheated. but since having this dream i can't get over the idea that my subconscious' concept of heaven is me + my person in a glass bubble, floating in the absolute isolation of space
otoh in the dream i just had, i was trying to convince someone to listen to me tell them how to get their magic powers back, and i said, “no no, you DO want the horse. the secret is in their knees. you gotta steal their knees.”
and when the other person in the dream looked at dream-me it was like my conscious self reacting to my dream-self: with a lot of side-eye and incredulity, followed by, “uhhh ok, not sure what the fuck that means? that’s a lot to unpack,” and my other dream-self looked really put out and then i woke up laughing
hey bezos. what the fuck
macbook pro 2022. eighty trillion pixels. thousands of gigabops. non newtonian fluid state hard drives. flight capable. sentient.
me: computer please select lines of text from this file. cool, now delete them.
macbook pro 2022: hhYYYUUUUrrrUCCkkRRGGHHGHHBBLLALRFFGHH 🤮💀
gays who drive or live/have lived with people who drive, do you name your car?
yes (tell me in the tags!)
no
i am not the target audience for this poll
See Resultsbruh i'm on this flight, seated next to an off-duty pilot, and he pulls out the reading glasses like a g,,,, and then gets on his phone texting his wife with the font size 8000 and still making hella fuckin typos like lolll.... do pilots,,,, need to see??? is ocular acuity,,,,, required for flying planes places?????
important update: he spent half the flight watching a movie about planes. lmao..maybe he’s just a cosplayer